Hospital Hijinx

“I had fun at the hospital today.”  She said, without a trace of sarcasm.

I’m sure it doesn’t get said very often, but I did.

My day surgery – a procedure which I won’t go into detail here, not because I wouldn’t, but because I’m not supposed to make any important decisions or sign any important documents or make any official confessions while coming out of the anesthesia – was, unexpectedly, fun.

I shoulda known I was in for good times when I changed into my “hospital outfit” of gown, robe, strange pointy socks, blue paper booties and hairnet.  I mean, how can you not have fun when you are dressed like an extra-large Oompa-Loompa?

I got to repose in a comfy recliner under a heated blankie while a nice lady took my medical history and inserted my IV.  While I awaited my turn in the OR,  I had a lovely one hour chat with my dear friend Linda  – who graciously turned down a work shift to accompany me to and from UBC.

In the big, bright OR a team of 5 doctors and nurses went to work like a Nascar pit stop team.  The nice anasthesiologist said, “We’re giving you a sedative, so if you start feeling sleepy don’t be scared.”  I remembered thanking him and thinking, “Wow, those drugs work fas-z-z-z-z-z”

And then, magically, I woke up in the recovery room.  I was in some fairly severe discomfort, so the lovely recovery room nurse gave me more painkillers.  I can totally see how folks get hooked on intravenous drugs, the affect being immediate and all.

When I was lucid enough, my gurney was rolled into the discharge area.  And, yeah, being pushed around in a gurney IS as fun as it looks. Seriously, I had to make a conscious effort not to squeal out, “Faster!  Faster!” as I was being steered through the halls.

I was given juice.  And cheese and crackers.  My only regret is that I didn’t think to ask for cookies (the guy behind the curtain next to me was boasting about how much food he’d scammed from the nurses).

All of the staff were exceedingly nice – sincerely so – and made me feel comfortable and safe and well cared for.   Maybe it was just because it was Friday, but maybe, just maybe it was because they all truly enjoy their jobs.  They were smiling, singing, laughing, and joking with the patients and with each other.  It made for a very inclusive atmosphere.

To Linda: thank you for being a friend and being there.

To the Day Surgery staff at UBC Hospital: fistfulls of kudos to you.

To my ex: thank you for taking care of me afterwards.

To all: you made a potentially high-anxiety day completely stress-free. And fun.

Thank you.

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