This Is To Certify That
And to think it only took me nineteen short years to complete [sigh]. Yes, it’s true, my degree has spanned four name changes (ECU’s, not mine 😉 ).
The slow pace is all part of my ingenious plan to be sidewardly mobile. One day in the future, let’s say 15 years from now, there will be a year in my life where I’ll concurrently experience paying off my mortgage, completing my doctorate, and exhibiting a retrospective at the Guggenheim.
I’ll be just like James Franco.
Except I won’t be an over-achieving 30-something, I’ll be an over-achieving 50-something.